Possibly, I'm Insane

It depends on my mood
Last night I encountered a cockroach the size of my thumb just chilling on my hallway ceiling, like, NBD. 
No, cockroach. B. D. Okay? I had to go and run and get my poison spray and then spray A LOT of it until the stupid thing was DEAD DEAD DEAD because I CANNOT DEAL WITH COCKROACHES IN MY HOUSE. And I am so careful, I keep a very clean house, ALL FOODSTUFFS EVEN UNOPENED ONES live in my fridge to try to cut down on the attractiveness of my home to cockroaches, but no, here in the swampy climate of the South, COCKROACHES INSIST ON COMING INSIDE. 
And I do not get WHY. Like, why has word not gone out in the bug community that my house is not a safe place, that I VIOLENTLY KILL THEM, that they should avoid me? This is the problem bugs and I are having: THEY ARE NOT SMART ENOUGH TO AVOID ME. I AM GIVING THEM THE ENTIRE OUTDOORS. I ASK FOR JUST A FEW SQUARE FEET INSIDE HERE. 
Someone on Twitter suggested I start arranging their carcasses outside my front door like hanged pirate skeletons to warn other bugs HOW SERIOUS I AM but I’m just worried that would cause the bugs to all band together to wreak vengeance on me. 
So instead I went to the store today to buy MORE POISON FOR MY HOUSE. I decided my plan of attack would be to spray the poison outside. So I went outside to spray my door and…
LOOK WHAT I FOUND ON IT. LOOK AT THAT THING. WHAT EVEN IS THAT THING. THAT THING IS SOME KIND OF VICIOUS ALIEN CREATURE BUG THAT WAS CRAWLING ON MY DOOR TRYING TO GET INTO MY HOUSE. STOP IT, BUGS. LEAVE ME ALONE NOW. 
I killed it violently with poison, yes. 
I learned later it was some kind of tufted caterpillar thing? Apparently, if you touch it, you feel like you’ve been stung. And it EATS ENTIRE FORESTS. That’s what I decided to understand from the Internet, anyway. 
BUT WHATEVER. THE ONGOING TRAVAILS OF ME AND OUTDOOR THINGS CONTINUE. 
Most important question of the night, though: Who would be better at killing bugs—Benedict Cumberbatch or Joseph Gordon-Levitt? This is clearly necessary for me to know so I know how to break a boyfriend tie between them. 

Last night I encountered a cockroach the size of my thumb just chilling on my hallway ceiling, like, NBD. 

No, cockroach. B. D. Okay? I had to go and run and get my poison spray and then spray A LOT of it until the stupid thing was DEAD DEAD DEAD because I CANNOT DEAL WITH COCKROACHES IN MY HOUSE. And I am so careful, I keep a very clean house, ALL FOODSTUFFS EVEN UNOPENED ONES live in my fridge to try to cut down on the attractiveness of my home to cockroaches, but no, here in the swampy climate of the South, COCKROACHES INSIST ON COMING INSIDE. 

And I do not get WHY. Like, why has word not gone out in the bug community that my house is not a safe place, that I VIOLENTLY KILL THEM, that they should avoid me? This is the problem bugs and I are having: THEY ARE NOT SMART ENOUGH TO AVOID ME. I AM GIVING THEM THE ENTIRE OUTDOORS. I ASK FOR JUST A FEW SQUARE FEET INSIDE HERE. 

Someone on Twitter suggested I start arranging their carcasses outside my front door like hanged pirate skeletons to warn other bugs HOW SERIOUS I AM but I’m just worried that would cause the bugs to all band together to wreak vengeance on me. 

So instead I went to the store today to buy MORE POISON FOR MY HOUSE. I decided my plan of attack would be to spray the poison outside. So I went outside to spray my door and…

LOOK WHAT I FOUND ON IT. LOOK AT THAT THING. WHAT EVEN IS THAT THING. THAT THING IS SOME KIND OF VICIOUS ALIEN CREATURE BUG THAT WAS CRAWLING ON MY DOOR TRYING TO GET INTO MY HOUSE. STOP IT, BUGS. LEAVE ME ALONE NOW. 

I killed it violently with poison, yes. 

I learned later it was some kind of tufted caterpillar thing? Apparently, if you touch it, you feel like you’ve been stung. And it EATS ENTIRE FORESTS. That’s what I decided to understand from the Internet, anyway. 

BUT WHATEVER. THE ONGOING TRAVAILS OF ME AND OUTDOOR THINGS CONTINUE. 

Most important question of the night, though: Who would be better at killing bugs—Benedict Cumberbatch or Joseph Gordon-Levitt? This is clearly necessary for me to know so I know how to break a boyfriend tie between them. 

Filed under NATURE IS OUT TO GET US| AND ME SPECIFICALLY|

Scenes from My Road Trip to Shreveport

I went to see The Drop this weekend. This is what I do when I get to spend some time in civilization: I locate Dunkin’ Donuts and I go see a movie I can’t see within 100 miles of where I live. So, anyway, it was very good and I liked it a lot and Tom Hardy is amaaaazing in it. 

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Filed under road trip| the drop| dunkin' donuts| tom hardy|

Scenes from My Road Trip to Shreveport

I just watched Doctor Who when I got back this afternoon and haven’t had time to re-watch so no write-up yet. I was actually pretty meh on it, for the first time this season. But maybe anything was going to be a let-down after the free-wheeling high of Time Heist for me.

Filed under road trip| doctor who| the caretaker| time heist|

Scenes from My Road Trip to Shreveport

Trains are very long. I lost three minutes off of my GPS-estimated arrival time waiting for a VERY LONG train by the Dunkin’ Donuts in Bossier City (I FIND DUNKIN’ DONUTS WHEREVER I CAN).

Filed under road trip| bossier city| dunkin' donuts| gps|

Filed under jlillymoon|

mercurialkitty asked: I love how someone else asked about the Wheaties box for "Working on the Edges." So do Mr. & Mrs. Holmes visit them in the US a lot? Are they always hinting about adopted grandkids? How do J&S feel about this?

They visit them a lot. More than Sherlock would like. But Sherlock is very good at ignoring them, and John is very good at entertaining them, so it works out. 

They hint about grandkids, and John always says, “Can you seriously imagine us raising a kid?” and then Sherlock’s mum says, “You should read this fabulous fic called ‘Nature & Nurture.’” 

Filed under working on the edge| clone baby| nature and nurture| mercurialkitty|

@mercurialkitty replied to your chat “Scenes from my Road Trip to Shreveport”

Sorry they didn’t have it! In the South, even at Chinese restaurants that serve hot tea all the time, you still have to say, “not iced tea, but the HOT tea in the pot”

Yeah, the South is where I learned to always specify “hot tea” to make sure I get what I want. 

Filed under mercurialkitty|

@applerepublic replied to your post “Did SSH Sherlock ever run afoul of illicit drugs?”

No lie that was what I was most afraid of while reading that story. I kept waiting for it. And dreading it. And I was so happy when it didn’t happen!

I just couldn’t make it make sense in my head that it would happen in that particular universe. 

Filed under applerepublic|

Filed under hellooooo-nurse|

@neverforapenny replied to your post “Scenes from My Road Trip to Shreveport”

I live in NC right now and people do it all the time here. It’s just a southern thing. See someone you know, then pull over and talk to them. Sometimes they’ll wave you around, but most know to scoot around them anyway.

I would be cursing up a blue streak over this. 

Filed under neverforapenny|