Possibly, I'm Insane

It depends on my mood

@esterbrook replied to your post: Last night I encountered a cockroach t…

Benedict is taller and thus would be better at getting the ones on the ceiling.

EXCELLENT POINT. YOU MAY HAVE TIPPED IT IN FAVOR OF BENEDICT. 

Although I feel like if I could get *Arthur,* he’d be able to climb up to the ceiling for me. Or he’d just shoot it. 

Filed under esterbrook|

sarah-the-artiste:

earlgreytea68:

Last night I encountered a cockroach the size of my thumb just chilling on my hallway ceiling, like, NBD. 
No, cockroach. B. D. Okay? I had to go and run and get my poison spray and then spray A LOT of it until the stupid thing was DEAD DEAD DEAD because I CANNOT DEAL WITH COCKROACHES IN MY HOUSE. And I am so careful, I keep a very clean house, ALL FOODSTUFFS EVEN UNOPENED ONES live in my fridge to try to cut down on the attractiveness of my home to cockroaches, but no, here in the swampy climate of the South, COCKROACHES INSIST ON COMING INSIDE. 
And I do not get WHY. Like, why has word not gone out in the bug community that my house is not a safe place, that I VIOLENTLY KILL THEM, that they should avoid me? This is the problem bugs and I are having: THEY ARE NOT SMART ENOUGH TO AVOID ME. I AM GIVING THEM THE ENTIRE OUTDOORS. I ASK FOR JUST A FEW SQUARE FEET INSIDE HERE. 
Someone on Twitter suggested I start arranging their carcasses outside my front door like hanged pirate skeletons to warn other bugs HOW SERIOUS I AM but I’m just worried that would cause the bugs to all band together to wreak vengeance on me. 
So instead I went to the store today to buy MORE POISON FOR MY HOUSE. I decided my plan of attack would be to spray the poison outside. So I went outside to spray my door and…
LOOK WHAT I FOUND ON IT. LOOK AT THAT THING. WHAT EVEN IS THAT THING. THAT THING IS SOME KIND OF VICIOUS ALIEN CREATURE BUG THAT WAS CRAWLING ON MY DOOR TRYING TO GET INTO MY HOUSE. STOP IT, BUGS. LEAVE ME ALONE NOW. 
I killed it violently with poison, yes. 
I learned later it was some kind of tufted caterpillar thing? Apparently, if you touch it, you feel like you’ve been stung. And it EATS ENTIRE FORESTS. That’s what I decided to understand from the Internet, anyway. 
BUT WHATEVER. THE ONGOING TRAVAILS OF ME AND OUTDOOR THINGS CONTINUE. 
Most important question of the night, though: Who would be better at killing bugs—Benedict Cumberbatch or Joseph Gordon-Levitt? This is clearly necessary for me to know so I know how to break a boyfriend tie between them. 

Honestly I don’t think either. Benedict may have been a super sexy badass killer in STiD, but he strikes me as the type of man who (depending on the bug of course) would jump up onto a chair to avoid it. Though perhaps he and Levitt would get a newspaper and pick up the bug and deposit it outside so who’s to say really

God, I think you’re right that getting them *together* to kill bugs might actually be the worst thing. They’d just, like, talk to each other about their deep ideas about society and the place of bugs in civilization and I’d have to kill the bug myself in the end. 
…Or, really, why would we be noticing bugs in the first place??? 

sarah-the-artiste:

earlgreytea68:

Last night I encountered a cockroach the size of my thumb just chilling on my hallway ceiling, like, NBD. 

No, cockroach. B. D. Okay? I had to go and run and get my poison spray and then spray A LOT of it until the stupid thing was DEAD DEAD DEAD because I CANNOT DEAL WITH COCKROACHES IN MY HOUSE. And I am so careful, I keep a very clean house, ALL FOODSTUFFS EVEN UNOPENED ONES live in my fridge to try to cut down on the attractiveness of my home to cockroaches, but no, here in the swampy climate of the South, COCKROACHES INSIST ON COMING INSIDE. 

And I do not get WHY. Like, why has word not gone out in the bug community that my house is not a safe place, that I VIOLENTLY KILL THEM, that they should avoid me? This is the problem bugs and I are having: THEY ARE NOT SMART ENOUGH TO AVOID ME. I AM GIVING THEM THE ENTIRE OUTDOORS. I ASK FOR JUST A FEW SQUARE FEET INSIDE HERE. 

Someone on Twitter suggested I start arranging their carcasses outside my front door like hanged pirate skeletons to warn other bugs HOW SERIOUS I AM but I’m just worried that would cause the bugs to all band together to wreak vengeance on me. 

So instead I went to the store today to buy MORE POISON FOR MY HOUSE. I decided my plan of attack would be to spray the poison outside. So I went outside to spray my door and…

LOOK WHAT I FOUND ON IT. LOOK AT THAT THING. WHAT EVEN IS THAT THING. THAT THING IS SOME KIND OF VICIOUS ALIEN CREATURE BUG THAT WAS CRAWLING ON MY DOOR TRYING TO GET INTO MY HOUSE. STOP IT, BUGS. LEAVE ME ALONE NOW. 

I killed it violently with poison, yes. 

I learned later it was some kind of tufted caterpillar thing? Apparently, if you touch it, you feel like you’ve been stung. And it EATS ENTIRE FORESTS. That’s what I decided to understand from the Internet, anyway. 

BUT WHATEVER. THE ONGOING TRAVAILS OF ME AND OUTDOOR THINGS CONTINUE. 

Most important question of the night, though: Who would be better at killing bugs—Benedict Cumberbatch or Joseph Gordon-Levitt? This is clearly necessary for me to know so I know how to break a boyfriend tie between them. 

Honestly I don’t think either. Benedict may have been a super sexy badass killer in STiD, but he strikes me as the type of man who (depending on the bug of course) would jump up onto a chair to avoid it. Though perhaps he and Levitt would get a newspaper and pick up the bug and deposit it outside so who’s to say really

God, I think you’re right that getting them *together* to kill bugs might actually be the worst thing. They’d just, like, talk to each other about their deep ideas about society and the place of bugs in civilization and I’d have to kill the bug myself in the end. 

…Or, really, why would we be noticing bugs in the first place??? 

stripedsilverfeline:

earlgreytea68:

Last night I encountered a cockroach the size of my thumb just chilling on my hallway ceiling, like, NBD. 
No, cockroach. B. D. Okay? I had to go and run and get my poison spray and then spray A LOT of it until the stupid thing was DEAD DEAD DEAD because I CANNOT DEAL WITH COCKROACHES IN MY HOUSE. And I am so careful, I keep a very clean house, ALL FOODSTUFFS EVEN UNOPENED ONES live in my fridge to try to cut down on the attractiveness of my home to cockroaches, but no, here in the swampy climate of the South, COCKROACHES INSIST ON COMING INSIDE. 
And I do not get WHY. Like, why has word not gone out in the bug community that my house is not a safe place, that I VIOLENTLY KILL THEM, that they should avoid me? This is the problem bugs and I are having: THEY ARE NOT SMART ENOUGH TO AVOID ME. I AM GIVING THEM THE ENTIRE OUTDOORS. I ASK FOR JUST A FEW SQUARE FEET INSIDE HERE. 
Someone on Twitter suggested I start arranging their carcasses outside my front door like hanged pirate skeletons to warn other bugs HOW SERIOUS I AM but I’m just worried that would cause the bugs to all band together to wreak vengeance on me. 
So instead I went to the store today to buy MORE POISON FOR MY HOUSE. I decided my plan of attack would be to spray the poison outside. So I went outside to spray my door and…
LOOK WHAT I FOUND ON IT. LOOK AT THAT THING. WHAT EVEN IS THAT THING. THAT THING IS SOME KIND OF VICIOUS ALIEN CREATURE BUG THAT WAS CRAWLING ON MY DOOR TRYING TO GET INTO MY HOUSE. STOP IT, BUGS. LEAVE ME ALONE NOW. 
I killed it violently with poison, yes. 
I learned later it was some kind of tufted caterpillar thing? Apparently, if you touch it, you feel like you’ve been stung. And it EATS ENTIRE FORESTS. That’s what I decided to understand from the Internet, anyway. 
BUT WHATEVER. THE ONGOING TRAVAILS OF ME AND OUTDOOR THINGS CONTINUE. 
Most important question of the night, though: Who would be better at killing bugs—Benedict Cumberbatch or Joseph Gordon-Levitt? This is clearly necessary for me to know so I know how to break a boyfriend tie between them. 

But…’travails’? I shall adore you forever for that word, darling!
Have you tried vinegar? Try vinegar. Might very well work for you. And the beasties.

Oooh, vinegar, I’ll look into that!

stripedsilverfeline:

earlgreytea68:

Last night I encountered a cockroach the size of my thumb just chilling on my hallway ceiling, like, NBD. 

No, cockroach. B. D. Okay? I had to go and run and get my poison spray and then spray A LOT of it until the stupid thing was DEAD DEAD DEAD because I CANNOT DEAL WITH COCKROACHES IN MY HOUSE. And I am so careful, I keep a very clean house, ALL FOODSTUFFS EVEN UNOPENED ONES live in my fridge to try to cut down on the attractiveness of my home to cockroaches, but no, here in the swampy climate of the South, COCKROACHES INSIST ON COMING INSIDE. 

And I do not get WHY. Like, why has word not gone out in the bug community that my house is not a safe place, that I VIOLENTLY KILL THEM, that they should avoid me? This is the problem bugs and I are having: THEY ARE NOT SMART ENOUGH TO AVOID ME. I AM GIVING THEM THE ENTIRE OUTDOORS. I ASK FOR JUST A FEW SQUARE FEET INSIDE HERE. 

Someone on Twitter suggested I start arranging their carcasses outside my front door like hanged pirate skeletons to warn other bugs HOW SERIOUS I AM but I’m just worried that would cause the bugs to all band together to wreak vengeance on me. 

So instead I went to the store today to buy MORE POISON FOR MY HOUSE. I decided my plan of attack would be to spray the poison outside. So I went outside to spray my door and…

LOOK WHAT I FOUND ON IT. LOOK AT THAT THING. WHAT EVEN IS THAT THING. THAT THING IS SOME KIND OF VICIOUS ALIEN CREATURE BUG THAT WAS CRAWLING ON MY DOOR TRYING TO GET INTO MY HOUSE. STOP IT, BUGS. LEAVE ME ALONE NOW. 

I killed it violently with poison, yes. 

I learned later it was some kind of tufted caterpillar thing? Apparently, if you touch it, you feel like you’ve been stung. And it EATS ENTIRE FORESTS. That’s what I decided to understand from the Internet, anyway. 

BUT WHATEVER. THE ONGOING TRAVAILS OF ME AND OUTDOOR THINGS CONTINUE. 

Most important question of the night, though: Who would be better at killing bugs—Benedict Cumberbatch or Joseph Gordon-Levitt? This is clearly necessary for me to know so I know how to break a boyfriend tie between them. 

But…’travails’? I shall adore you forever for that word, darling!

Have you tried vinegar? Try vinegar. Might very well work for you. And the beasties.

Oooh, vinegar, I’ll look into that!

@impextoo replied to your post: Last night I encountered a cockroach t…

You need to get Demon WP or Cyber WP (stands for wettable powder), both of which have the active ingredient of cypermethrin. It’s what the professionals use and you can DIY with a hand sprayer (like what you use for weed killer).

This sounds intense!!

Filed under impextoo|

@thepineapplering replied to your post: Last night I encountered a cockroach t…

Benedict would freak out completely just by its sight. My money goes out to Joseph.

Seems to be the consensus. I tend to agree, I admit. 

Filed under thepineapplering|

@infidusfiles replied to your post: Last night I encountered a cockroach t…

I don’t know where in the south you are but I spent a year in Florida, and if there are “love bugs” in your area prepare for the worst

OH DEAR GOD A NEW FRESH HELL. 

Filed under infidusfiles|

@starrla89 replied to your post: Last night I encountered a cockroach t…

As much as I love BC, gotta say that JGL would be better at killing them. He could lip-synch them to death. :D

HAHAHAHA. And I would be like, “Yeah. That’s cute, sweetie. Can you just crush it now?” 

Filed under starrla89|

@knitmeatardis replied to your post: Last night I encountered a cockroach t…

JGL would definitely be the better bug killer. Benedict would probably just look at it with fascination and curiosity and like want to draw it or something equally insane.

That’s what I think, too. He’d want to have some kind of philosophical conversation about the bug and I’d be like, “THIS IS WHY I SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT. HE’D JUST KILL THE THING.” 

Filed under knitmeatardis|

Filed under serendipitousramblings|

chocolamousse replied to your post: Last night I encountered a cockroach t…

Benedict proves to be a ruthless bug killer in this interview. “Unlike that bug which I’ve just killed, heartlessly. Hey, it’s a bug-free environment, it said so on the ticket.” :D empireonline.com/intervi…

THIS IS IMPORTANT INFORMATION. 

Most people have been saying—and I agree—that Benedict seems like he’d try to save the bug and JGL would just get on with killing it, but YOU HAVE FOUND IMPORTANT EVIDENCE. 

Filed under chocolamousse|